(Spoiler Alert: Some of you may be offended. If you are, odds are this pertains to you.)
I’ll never be the guy who lives only for a relationship. I may be in one (theoretically), but that doesn’t mean I’m not my own person, with my own needs, my own dreams, my own ambitions.
A relationship means growing together as people. It means taking a journey together. It does not mean you become hats, otherwise known as people with their heads so far up each other’s asses that they wear each other as hats. It also does not mean that you essentially become one person, interchangeable. You shouldn’t lose your identity as an individual just because you’re dating someone.
I do not want a little lost puppy dog for a significant other. I have a puppy. I don’t need a human one with its head up my ass all fucking day long.
I do not need someone to fix me. I do not need someone to change me. If I want to change, I will change because I want to, not because you feel I need to.
What is it with men and women who feel they need someone to fix? I am not a project. I am not a pet. I am a human being.
stop raising the bar too high for your significant others, people. Stop making so much out of little asinine horseshit. Enjoy them. Enjoy being with them. A relationship is going to be much harder the more you needlessly complicate it. If there’s a significant issue – a REAL issue – figure it out. Work on it.
Do not allow other people’s opinions to rule your relationship. Your friends are not in your relationship. Your parents are not in your relationship. YOU are in your relationship. YOUR LOVER is in your relationship. The more people you let into your relationship, the more complicated and fucked up it will inevitably become.
Do not let your exes rule your life. Do not let them dictate your actions based on how they affected you. Remember the past. Learn from it. Stop reliving it. Stop being a prisoner of it. Learn and move forward. Be your own person. Be yourself. Stop being a byproduct of your past. Stop being a byproduct of your ex. Stop being infectious human waste. (Brownie points for those who get that last reference.)
Want to know the two questions that matter for a serious relationship?
1. Do you want to be with him or her?
2. Do you love him or her?
Pretty simple. They should be answered with a yes or no. If you start overthinking it, if you start blowing those questions out of proportion, stop and do some soul searching.
Do not enter a relationship to complete yourself. You should be a whole person before you enter one. Otherwise, a broken cog will only break the machine that is a relationship. Guess who you’ll most likely blame? The other person.
So calm down. Breathe. Enjoy life. Be yourself. Enjoy your lover. A lot of relationships don’t work. Learn from them. Move on. Sometimes, the relationship does work, and it can be something special.
If you let it.